It's getting to be like a ritual--twice a year--it begins anew. I am going to blog about the painful process this time in hopes that this somewhat provides additional accountability somehow. Not that being unemployed for this long does not provide adequate motivation, but I find it difficult to focus at times, living in this dark apartment, no where to go to hang out, no true friends nearby to commiserate with, all the while Doby is lounging on the couch staring at me trying to will me to take him outside once again.
Life in Jonesborough, TN, in my lovely and quaint house, and my little job at the courthouse doesn't seem quite so bad right about now. It was comfortable, cozy, rural enough but close enough to the "city" so as not to feel isolated on an island in the middle of the Pacific somewhere, and it didn't cost $1000 a month. It wasn't freezing nearly 9 mos of the year (our house is always cold here, regardless of the season), and it allowed light in through the windows more than a mere 3 hours a day.
Oh well, that was then, this is now. I am where I am; I must endure, because it has just got to get better than this.
And, speaking of the bar exam, it really is a self confidence buster at times to think of those past who have passed the stupid thing, yet, I seem...unable...but I know I am capable, just different circumstances. And besides, had I passed the thing the first time around, I would not have had all this time to really change to become the person I am meant to be.
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